Bayonetta, the latest game from Devil May Cry creator, Hideki Kamiya, is an extravagant and bombastic brawler starring a witch with guns strapped to her high heels and a skin-tight body suit made out of her hair. While you could say it's a truism of the industry that most female leads generally lack a certain, shall we say, quiet dignity, Bayonetta's hyper-sexuality makes Lara Croft look positively prudish. She seems to want nothing more than to wink at the camera while she caresses her body; glide her ever-present lollipop in and out of her mouth; and dance -- oh yes! To dance and dance and dance! In short: Bayonetta is a monument to puerile fantasy.
As you might expect from a game of this type, the story offers all the clarity of a Hunter S. Thompson novel, but none of the finesse needed to hold everything together. After hours of cut-scenes, all I was able to gather was that Bayonetta is a sexy witch who likes to kill angels. There's also something in there about the destruction of the universe by a resurrected God -- as well as a murder mystery to boot! (You know, as if the stakes of the former weren't dramatic enough). But enough about the plot for it's utterly immaterial and exists solely to provide Bayonetta the opportunity to titillate us with more dancing!
Seriously, the sexual undertones of Bayonetta are so pervasive that you can't help but feel a little embarrassed while playing it. More than once I'd find myself pressing pause to nervously glance over my shoulder like a kid hiding a dirty magazine from his mom, "I'm playing it for the story, honest!"
It's really a shame too, because for all of Kamiya's blustery indulgence, he still had the wherewithal to ground his game in a foundation of solid mechanics. Bayonetta is about as finely tuned an action game as you could hope for.
With the entirety of Bayonetta's move set mapped to just three buttons, you'd think that the combat would devolve into furious button-mashing. Thankfully to the contrary, it's surprisingly focused. Battles are busy and frenetic, but once you fall in line with the game's rhythm, you'll discover that there's a lot more room for strategy than the game's hectic pace lets on. Dodging an incoming attack at just the right moment initiates what's called "Witch Time" aka "Bullet Time." While it may be a tired trick, the slow motion provides relief to formulate your next devastating assault. It serves as more than just a special effect, the added time to think allows for more depth and strategy to an otherwise cut-and-dry brawler.
Possibly the best part about the system is that by the end of it, you'll feel like you're in complete control of Bayonetta. You'll likely begin the game as I did; relying on a few choice combos for all your angel-dispatching needs, but the game's learning curve is so gradual and well paced that before long, you'll be flipping, kicking, and dodging with the best of them.
Visually speaking, Bayonetta is unlike anything I've ever seen before. Anywhere. The angels look like stone cherubs injected with steroids, bosses are massive and defy explanation; it's very Terry Gilliam-esque in that you get the feeling that the game is a window into Kamiya's unique imagination -- of course, the flip side of that statement is that you'll also see the embodiment of his fantasy, Bayonetta, so that's kind of freaky, but also pretty indicative of my overall feelings of the game.
In spite of its blatantly juvenile sensibilities, I ended up enjoying Bayonetta more than I thought I would. But when I look back at my experience with the game as a whole, I can't help but feel that the game topples under the weight of its own absurdity. It may be easy to lose yourself for awhile in the mêlée, but once the dust settles and Bayonetta celebrates her victory by bending over and blowing you a kiss, you'll most likely find yourself once again shooting furtive glances over your shoulder.
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